The fun thing about the “show don’t tell” advice is that science fiction provides many opportunities for descriptive writing.
And, when my characters can see with ultraviolet or infrared vision, scene description can take on a whole new dimension.
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I’ve seen many show don’t tell examples. And they’re full of descriptive writing detailing sharp images in trichromatic color.
But, the sturnovula of my Drifting Amalgams universe are an avian species with half the visual acuity that humans have. So, how well could they recognize and distinguish facial features? And how would they develop something like fonts that are easy to read and write?
This is not just a challenge when I’m worldbuilding my sturnovula; it comes up for all the non-human peoples of my world: How would a species with limited visual acuity shape their world?
Using a Character’s Field of Vision for Descriptive Writing
Variance in field of vision means my characters can see up to 360° around them.
At its most basic, this idea results in a character being less likely to be surprised. But, from a sensory writing perspective, it’s possible to play with this keen peripheral vision. In scene description, for example, I can detail that an imprisoned character feels like the walls are all around them–closing in–because they can’t see open space all about them.
For avian, like my sturnovula, there are even more options because they have two retinal focal points in each eye. Because they can see forward and sideways simultaneously, their scene description can detail two fully different settings. How they interact or react to what they see can create an added layer of risk or suspense. How do they respond to a danger on the ground while also perceiving an impediment in their flight path?
When Describing Movement within a Scene, Show, Don’t Tell
Imagine a character on an unfamiliar planet. Senses piqued, they see a slight movement of a plant in the wind. A shadow, even. How does their “lizard brain” react? What is their skin or fur response, and how do their heart rate and respiration change?
The more sensitive a character is to motion, the more narrative suspense I can create. When presented from their point of view, scene description can have heightened narrative intrigue when the character is unsure whether motion is indicative of threat.
And what of movements that can be perceived by some, but not all of, the characters in a scene? I can create narrative conflict through sensory writing that describes a highly perceptive character not having their senses believed by their companions.
And, like field of vision, I can use motion detection to surface a character’s or species’ weaknesses. Perhaps keen motion detection is connected to motion sickness or dizziness. I can even use descriptive writing to detail headaches that indicate a character encountering motion that their brains can’t process …space motion, for instance.
There are a surprising number of ways to play with this basic sensory perception.
Playing with Color and Light Sensing in Descriptive Writing
Light detection is one of my favorite vision concepts because it offers so many descriptive writing options. Both light spectrum and light contrast are interesting here.
Whether characters can see the red-green-blue spectrum or their vision includes the ultraviolet or infrared spectrums, scene description can take on a whole new dimension in science fiction.
For instance, my sturnovula’s UV-sensitive vision allows them to identify each other via reflective plumage. Additionally, important vegetation–both edible and poisonous–have a unique glow that humans would be unable to see. What’s more is that they can detect new structures and technologies because of the way light bounces off of them.
A similar technology detection can be built into species that can see the infrared spectrum. Since many technologically advanced objects give off heat, even underground devices could be seen if they’re hot enough.
Once combined with the other senses, vision makes for a versatile “show don’t tell” tool.
Until next time, keep creating.